Dec 09

I’m excited!


First of all, by way of an update: I had a ministry meeting on Thursday. It went really well. We have an idea of where we’re going now! Hooray! We have a little bit of a timeline, too. We’re looking to make a presentation in mid-January. If that goes well and we get approval, we’ll have another in mid- to late February. If all goes well (please pray!) everything will be official by spring of next year. Exciting…and scary…and…a really good exercise in trusting God to work out the details the way that He wants!

I have been contacted twice, in the last two weeks, by people asking prayer for families who have been walking through loss. I started keeping track of where some of our resources have been going and I was surprised. I’ve been the one doing all of the distribution, but I just didn’t pay enough attention to realize how far we’re spread out, already. That’s exciting! Also, it’s very humbling. God has allowed me to be involved in what He’s doing, and that’s no small thing.

I also wanted to let you know, in case anyone is interested, that I found some merchandise I’m excited about. I’ve been aware of    for some time, but I was doing a little shopping around, this week, and realized something I didn’t know before.  Cafepress sells Trisomy-18 awareness merchandise! They also have merchandise with T-21 (Down syndrome) and T-13 awareness messages (some of them are super cool!). They sell t-shirts, bracelets, coffee mugs, coasters, key chains, and all kinds of other things. They have onesies (bodysuits) that say “Compatible with Life”. I LOVE IT!!!!!! Even if your family is dealing with other issues, they have all kinds of awareness merchandise. I’ll post a picture of my bracelet, when it comes in. I can’t wait!

Dec 04

My Heroes…

I know I’ve already posted today, but the Lord has been laying this on my heart for a while now, so…

I just want to take the opportunity to thank all of the babyloss mamas who love Jesus and want to serve Him by helping and encouraging others. It’s not an easy thing to humbly allow God to use you by inviting others into your pain, or by quietly entering into theirs. When you do not understand what He is doing, it is extremely difficult to open your heart for others to see – and judge. I am honored and extremely humbled to be joining this community of women, leaning on the strength of the Everlasting arms and constantly renewed mercies of our gracious God. I cannot say enough how grateful I am for the testimony of each and every one of you. Thank you for allowing Him to use your pain. He never wastes it. Someday we will see, even if we cannot understand here. You are my heroes and I pray that I, too, can be such an instrument of His glory. You have blessed me!

Dec 03


It’s been an interesting few days around our house. Let me start by saying that Thanksgiving has been hard, for the last few years. In 2009, we miscarried at the beginning of November. In 2010, we had Zoe, but she was no longer with us at Thanksgiving. That was a really difficult blow for me, because my greatest desire was for her to spend Christmas with us. I was angry, that Thanksgiving. And the next one…

At any rate, what I’m trying to get at is that this Thanksgiving was different. In February, my brother’s second daughter was born. In a lot of ways, she’s my rainbow. I don’t think I really understood how important that was. Until I realized that, for the first time, I’m looking forward to Christmas. If you’ve been where I am, you’ll understand when I say: that’s hard, in its own way. Overall, though, it’s an amazing thing. I didn’t think I would ever be excited about Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong; I love Christmas! It’s my favorite holiday. I know that it isn’t about presents or decorations or music or any of those other things. I get that it’s about celebrating the greatest gift that mankind has ever received: the Lord Jesus Christ! Even when I can’t get excited about it, I’m still excited about it. 🙂 I mean, hello!: it’s Christmas! But it’s been different, the last few years. I haven’t been able to get into the “Christmas spirit”. And the idea that it’s all centered around the birth of a child… Well, let’s just say it’s been rough. It’s different this year, though. Praise God!

This was the first Thanksgiving, in recent history, that I didn’t have to make a choice to be thankful. Gratitude is always a choice, but I didn’t have to think about it this year. That was an amazing gift. I was absolutely reveling in it. I even did the shopping thing, the one that only crazy people do. And I enjoyed it! (And yes, for those of you who are wondering, I am almost done.)

On Friday evening, as I was sitting with my family, I got a text message from a friend. One of her dear friends, she had just learned, had spent Thanksgiving day in still birth. Talk about a deflation! My joy didn’t disappear (praise God! that’s huge!), but my excitement sure vanished. I was exhausted, after shopping all day, but instantly focused in a way I have seldom been.

It’s been over three days, and I still cannot stop thinking about the family. Their holiday will never be the same. Kelly Gerken (from SGM) calls it “the sacred place where heaven and earth meet” and talks about entering in, with families, to the place where they meet Jesus. I pray that this is the experience that this family had. I have prayed, many times, in these days, for the needs they’re experiencing right now. And my heart is so heavy for them. I pray that the Lord will use the package we shipped out to minister to the needs that only He can see. I would ask your prayers for them, as well, please. They need all the support they can get, right now. They have five other small children, as well, who need grace and understanding. My children have been a blessing, while I have grieved, but my grieving has not left them unharmed. They need our prayers!

Please continue to pray, too, for the ministry. The Lord is moving. I cannot see, at this point, exactly where and how, but I can see things popping up and I know that He is in them. Please pray that, as things begin to happen and move, we make decisions that honor and glorify Him, not just further our own agendas. The greatest desire of my heart is to glorify Him by serving others, not to get our name on the map. I would much rather have people know the ministry than my name. And if they’re only going to call on one name, His is the best one.

I have so much more on my heart, but I’m out of time, for now. Please pray with us.

By His grace and for His glory!